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Gumtree Perth > Community > confessions > Ad ID 159804153
 

I don't know how to break up with her
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Date Listed 05/10/2009
Address Perth, WA, Australia
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I'm restless. I don't want a relationship at all. For several reasons, I don't want to be married and the thought of children makes me ill.

She and I have no problems. We live together, have a joint bank account, don't fight, have a good lovelife, and in most other ways things are good.  The only downer is that English is her second language and she does not have a perfect command of the language. Conversations about complex issues (or any issue involved subtlety) are impossible because she does not share the same cultural assumptions that an Aussie, Brit, Kiwi, Canadian, Singaporean, US etc. or perfect speaker of the language would make and take for granted. And she gets defensive when I try to spell it out as though it's an affront to her intelligence. She is intelligent and therefore sees through my diplomacy and tact. She is intelligent but with this issue her ego is unmovable. Frustrating.

It is my fault. She and I got together after I broke up with my ex. I broke up because I was restless and intended to work overseas and travel for 1-2 years. That didn't happen because I fell into this relationship. It is 18 months later and I am restless again.

How do I break it off? The poor girl has done nothing wrong. It's not fair to her if I break it off and it's not fair to her if I keep it going. I have to end it even if that means being a complete youknowwhat. I cannot do it now because leaving her now would make her desperately short of money and unable to pay rent. We have started saving and at the end of the year I will leave her but leave her with the cash. If I cannot be there for her like a man should, I will at least leave her able to survive comfortably without me.

I apologise to you all for entangling another human being in my own emotional confusion. In this matter, I have acted disgustingly and feel sad that my sympathy and compassion for her will be righteously rejected by her. Of course I still have feelings for her but I must leave or our marriage will be unhappy in the long-term. I will do this at the time which is best for her. I will never get involved with another person in such a relationship.

I need advice regarding how to break up with her - what do I say?

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